Support Your Life in Japan 
Growing up, I’ve never felt this feeling that I belonged to a certain group of people, which I had assumed myself being just naturally introverted. But lacking of the sense of belonging kept staying in me and never faded in a process of getting older, which made me realize that maybe I didn’t fit in this Japanese culture that had surrounded me through my entire life.
When I was in elementary school, I was a bookish kid who always sought for a quiet place and loved an imagination. I wasn’t good at studies, not because I wasn’t smart enough but because I was in a whole different world inspired by books I read, creating stories of on my own during classes. I preferred to spend my time by myself or with my sister who was almost the only person who I felt comfortable being around with and didn’t enjoy seeking for new friendships. All of this didn’t confirm me as a social misfit but simply showed me that I was just a kid with slightly different personality than other kids.
In high school, I pushed myself so hard. High school was all about being just like others around you and never standing out. It was one of the most insecure period of my youth, which was why I tried my hardest to pretend that I looked just like other girls in school. I tried to act and speak in a same topic, a manner, and a way like anybody else and it was suffocating. I didn’t like and always hesitated to talk because I was constantly finding flaws in my speech. Later I thought back what I shoud have said and shoudn’t have, all of which was coming from the concept that I was forcing myself that I had to behave exactly like others and it was unachievable in the first place.